Prayer

That moment when you say a silent prayer, one filled with despair and confusion, and you feel as if God is remaining silent and far too distant. So you call Him, beg Him to make His ways clear to your minuscule understanding. Beg Him to show you a way out of your fears, and still all you receive is silence. You go to bed feeling alone, wondering why you can’t feel His presence. 

The next day someone seeks you out and the conversations goes a little like this… “I feel like God is telling me that I need to do something for you…” and then they unknowingly repeat the prayer you said when you were alone, and show you a way out from your fears. They give you an answer you already knew deep within, but was too caught up in despair to focus on. And now you know, really, truly know, that God heard your pleas. It’s difficult to explain, because how does one describe seeing God’s reflection in someone else’s eyes? 

I didn’t win the lottery, money was not raining down on me from Heaven. There's no new car, home, or anything tangible I can take a picture of and post on Facebook. It was much more profound than anything materialistic. It was communication with the Great I Am, Alpha and Omega, El-Shaddai, Yahweh, the Holiest of Holy. He believed that I mattered, that I was important enough to patiently listen to my complaints, and that I was dear enough to comfort. When I couldn’t hear Him, He sent someone who would make sure I listened. I am truly blessed. More than having my prayer answered, He confirmed how much I am adored by Him. How much He needs me, and I Him.

I almost didn't post this, it was too personal, too... much.What if it offended? No one wants to hear about God. God has become politically incorrect (or maybe He always was). Doubt kept me from clicking the publish button. But it didn't feel right to keep it to myself, as if my Father in Heaven was a guilty secret. Let the world know that this woman, one out of millions upon millions of people on earth, this insignificant human being, loves and is loved by the Lord.

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine”

Isaiah 43:1